About a month ago, a sweet friend of mine and I were texting back and forth and at the end of our “virtual conversation,” my friend “said” the kindest thing to me, “I am going to pray for God to bless you.” As I read what she texted me, I immediately felt like I hand the upper hand when I thought about the future. How reassuring it was to have a faithful friend asking God to bless me. “Wow!” I thought, “I just cannot wait to see all the good things that are going to happen.” My hopefulness began to grow even faster than it did while I was waiting on my wish bracelet to fall off!
To the best of my recollection, it took no more than thirty minutes from the time I first read my sweet friend’s promise of blessing until I got my next text from a different friend. As I read the serious words she sent me, I was made aware of something very important and upsetting that I did not know. The news she relayed through her text angered me greatly and made me feel totally helpless. As I texted her back to get more detailed information, with every word I typed, I felt more and more aggravated about the situation. My thoughts wandered to feeling like the last lone survivor fighting against evil in this crazy world, and I began to wonder what God could do about this situation. After reading that second friend’s text, my thoughts of promised blessing flew right out the window, and within thirty minutes I felt defeated and potentially cursed.
It is strange to me how quickly people can change their emotions: happy to sad, hopeful to hopeless, victorious to destroyed. I feel so weak in my faith when I react that way. I give up on God so easy. I recall every loss I have experienced and magnify all life’s imperfections. Doubt muddies my hindsight, and the faithfulness I have felt from God in the past seems so distant. I do not like that feeling, like a dark cloud covering the sun’s bright light, God’s blessings become hard to see.
For the past two months, it seems like we have had one problem after another to deal handle. It occurred to me last week, as I was whining to Dave that we are being attacked by the devil, that maybe this was God’s way of answering my friend’s prayers. Maybe in some strange way I am being blessed by my onset of problems. In the past couple of months, I certainly have talked to God more and depended on him more than I have in quite a while. With problem after problem on my mind, I am forced to admit that I cannot change or fix things on my own because most of them are out of my control. When I realize I am helpless, I have no place else to look but up. When I leave the house each morning, I beg God to come with me because I am not sure what lies ahead. On the other hand, when things are going my way, I mistakenly believe I am in control because things are running smoothly. It is then that I do not need to depend on God as much. I can skip a prayer or two, especially if I do not see a problem in front of me. I can leave the house and tell God to just stay home because I feel like I can handle it on my own today. It’s sad but so true.
There is no doubt that God loves to take care of his children. Just like I love to take care of my boys, God wants to take care of me. When my boys need me, I will be there like lightning to offer help, and God feels the same way about his children. He wants me to depend on him, to trust that he has got my back, He tells me to rely on his strength not my own. He is blessed when I depend on him, and more importantly, I am blessed when I depend on him.
With trouble looming all around and even underneath, only God can provide the solutions. The devil’s attacks are sure to keep coming, but when we depend on God to get us through, we do receive blessings. When we let God handle our problems, we learn firsthand about God’s spirit and His faithfulness. As a result, we should worry less and trust more. Worrying less sure sounds like a blessing to me. Even though it is not what my friend or I had in mind, maybe I am getting exactly what she prayed for after all.
