When Holt Rowland was in elementary school, he was quite the Georgia Bulldog football fan. I have shared with you how every Student Council poster we made for Holt, when he was in elementary school, had to have a Georgia emblem on it somewhere. At that time, in his young life, he was a true Georgia fan. He knew a lot of the players’ names and positions, along with all of their numbers.
Holt was such a fan that we tried to carry him to at least one Georgia home game a year. Once, as we made yearly trek to Athens, we went with some friends of ours from Ware County. Of course, Holt was dressed in red, had on his Georgia cap, and had a “G” tattoo in red and black stuck solid on his chubby cheeks. This trip happened around the time that Fred Gibson, from Ware County, was a freshman receiver playing for Georgia. Holt had seen Fred play at Ware County games, so he was extra excited to get to see someone he knew playing for the Bulldogs.
Being from a small town in the south, we all had high hopes for someone from our area. Our friends knew Fred pretty well, so as we rode along they began talking about how they had heard that Fred was a little homesick since he moved to Athens from Waycross. We continued talking a little more about football then moved on to other topics. Nobody said anything else about Fred until two hours later when Holt said to me, “Mama, I sure wish we were going to get to see Fred play today.” I said, “Holt, why wouldn’t we get to see him play?” Holt then continued, ” Well, I heard Mr. Leslie say that Fred was home sick, so if he is sick at home how is going to play?”
I laughed and had to explain to him the difference between being homesick and home sick. That was a funny memory I cherish about Holt. He really didn’t care about the English lesson; he was just happy to know that Fred would be at the game and on the field after all!
Feeling homesick is an emotion that is very familiar to me. Homesick for my child. Homesick for my family to be complete. Homesick for the days when Holt was young and beside me everywhere I went. Just plain homesick for the way my life was before.
I don’t know of a cure for feeling home sick. It is not like being sick at home where you can take some medicine and sleep off the pain. From the time you wake until the time you go back to sleep, the home sick feeling associated with grief lingers. You can’t make it go completely away. There are weeks that it lessens, then other times of the year when the pain is intense.
The only answer that I have found is to tell God exactly how I am feeling. It’s not like he is shocked or disappointed to hear that I am feeling down, he knows it before I tell him. Sometimes, I don’t even speak, I just cry. I know the Bible says that when we cannot express our feelings and needs to God that Jesus speaks for us. He hears me through the sobs to know just what remedy I need. I cannot comprehend how my thoughts and needs are understood in such a complete way, but I know that in my spirit, my homesick feeling begins to ease just a little. Like somebody patting me on the back saying, “I understand how you feel and I care. I cannot change how you feel today, but in due time you will not ever feel this way again.”
I know that day is coming. A day when no one will feel homesick for a loved one, and no one will wish for days gone by. A day will come when I will not even remember missing Holt Rowland; it will be like he was right beside me the whole time. Every single one of our homesick feelings will be forgotten. Sadness will be no more, and the word sick, no matter how we use it, will not even be in our vocabulary…..Oh, how I cannot wait for that day!
